Guiding Light One Shots
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Various Guiding Light One shots Dinah-centric
1. No Regrets (DinahMallet)

"How many of those have you had?"

She turned, smiling slightly at him. "Are you asking as a friend or as a detective?"

He smiled, taking a seat beside her. "I'll go with friend in the hopes that you're in a sharing mood."

Dinah nodded, gesturing towards the bartender. She sighed as two cold bottles were placed in front of her and she slid one down to him. "So, what happened to you tonight to bring you here?"

"Oh, you don't want to know," Mallet sighed.

She took a long drink from the bottle, letting the cold liquid slide down her throat before she spoke. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know. Besides, if you tell me how much your life sucks maybe it will take my mind off how much mine does."

Mallet took a sip from his bottle, "Anything for a friend," he sighed.

"Wow," Dinah said, pushing the third bottle in front of her. "You know, I think you might be right. Your life actually might suck more than mine right now."

"Really? Tonight is the night you're going to decide to let me be right for a change?"

"You've had a tough day. I'm throwing you a bone," she smiled, holding out a new bottle of beer towards him.

"No," Mallet shook his head. "I think I've had enough for one night and actually, I think maybe you have too. Just because Marina and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean I have to drink myself into a coma."

"Let me know how that works out for you," Dinah sighed, popping the lid on the new bottle and bringing it to her lips.

Reaching for the bottle, Mallet carefully pulled it back towards the counter. "And just because Shayne and Marina are making a life with Henry doesn't mean your life is over."

She felt the words hit her like a slap in the face. Shayne was making a life with another woman. She was no longer a part of his family..a part of his plan..a part of his dream.

"Hey," Mallet whispered, putting his arm around her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts."

She looked up at him. "I know you do," she whispered, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

"Oh my God," Dinah grabbed the pillow, bringing it over her face as she swallowed hard to combat the wave of nausea.

"Morning," Mallet groaned.

Her eyes flew open, searching for the origin of his voice. He sat in the corner of the room, folding the quilt and replacing the pillow on the other side of the bed. "I hope you feel better than I do this morning."

Dinah sighed, bringing her hand to her eyes. "Don't bet on it." She groaned, looking at him again. "How did we get here?"

"You don't remember the cab ride?" he asked, his mind traveling back there for a moment as he groaned.

"No," she muttered hesitantly. "Why?"

"Well, after the tequila shots, I decided we needed to call a cab and when they showed up you were pretty trashed."

"Oh no," she groaned, pulling the pillow back over her head. "What happened?"

"Well, let's just say that I hope you aren't attached to those shoes you were wearing and we owe the cab company money for an upholstery cleaning." Mallet smiled as he watched her groan.

"God, Mallet I am so sorry." She looked over at him. "Seriously, I'm really, really sorry. I screwed up and I shouldn't have gotten you involved in my mess. For whatever reason I can't seem to only screw up my life...I always seem to drag other people into it."

"Are you kidding?" Mallet smiled. "Yeah, last night didn't end the greatest, but we had a pretty great time together. There was an open mike night and you and I make a killer Sonny and Cher," he smiled.

Dinah laughed, covering her face with her hands. "I must have been drunk."

"You were kind of past drunk babe."

"Well then, I guess it's pretty lucky that I was with a really great guy like you. Any other guy might have taken advantage of the situation."

Mallet sat still for a moment. "You know me better than that," he whispered, suddenly serious. "I care too much about you to do that to you."

"I know. You've always been someone I could always count on. You've always been there when I needed you. Even last night...even when I didn't know it...even when I was too drunk to realize it...you were there for me then. You took care of me."

"I always will," he whispered.

"Even now?" she asked feeling the weight of his eyes on her.

"What do you mean?" His marriage ended last night and yet he spent the end of it with a woman who made him feel more alive than he had felt in years. For a few hours, he remembered what it was like to be loved by her and to love her and right now, as he looked into her eyes, he wondered if the memory had been so clear because he had really never stopped.

"I mean you said you care too much about me to take advantage of the situation." She stopped, taking in a breath. "There's not a situation anymore, right?"

He brought his hand to her face, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Last night...You said nothing happened."

"Right, nothing happened. You were drunk..really drunk. I had been drinking myself. Neither of us needed to do anything that we would regret in the morning."

"I wouldn't," she said quickly, forcing the words from her mouth before her brain could filter them.

"What?" he asked, barely processing her response.

"I wouldn't have regretted it. If something had happened between us, I wouldn't have regretted it." She looked at him, gauging his response. "Would you?"

He stared at her, all the feelings he once had seemed to flood back in an instant. "No," he whispered. "No I wouldn't."

"There are so many things in my life that I regret. So many things I didn't say, so many things I didn't do...I don't want to regret anything anymore," she whispered, slowly moving towards him.

He could feel his heart beat faster as the warmth of her body came closer to his. "Me either," he said softly. His lips lingered just above hers for a moment as his eyes stared back at her. "No more regrets," he whispered, pulling her towards him as their lips finally met.

The End


	2. Remember

"Delivery for Dinah Marler". The man at the door held the box of European chocolates out towards her.

She stood silently for a minute. The sound of the man's shuffling feet brought her back to attention. "Oh," she responded quickly, suddenly remembering her manners, "Just a second," she grabbed a few bills from her purse, "Here you go," she said forcing a smile as she reached for the box and card.

As she watched the young man walk away, she slowly pushed the door closed. Her fingers touched the ribbon as she stared at the card on top. It might as well have been ticking.

The black ink swirled, the words becoming streaks of black smudge as her tears hit the card stock. Taking a shaky breath, she made a tight fist crumpling the card within it.

"Never again," she whispered. It wasn't that she didn't want him. God did she want him, but she make that mistake...not again...not after what happened the last time. Mallet was everything she'd ever wanted. He made her feel special. He made her feel beautiful. He made her feel safe. She was beginning to let guard down with him.

"That's how it starts," she whispered. That's how it had started with Hart, but even after all the memories she had with him, the memory that stood out in her mind was how it had ended. How he had died...how she had killed him.

Hart had saved her in so many ways. When she believed she was unlovable, he loved her. When she was certain everyone would leave her, he had stayed by her side. Even when she messed up, through everything with Roger, with Bridgette, even with her mother's death he was right there. And then it happened...she could feel it...she could feel him slipping away.

She wasn't sure when it happened...when she had become dependent on someone else for her very survival, but at some point Hart had become more than a man she loved. He was more than her fiancé. He was a part of her and she needed him.

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep living a lie." Hart stared at her as the tears streamed down her face. He didn't want to hurt her. He'd never wanted to hurt her, but somehow that's exactly what had happened.

"How is this a lie?" The words came out as a plea, and even she could the desperation in them. She didn't want to beg. In her head, she still had enough pride to be embarrassed, but in her heart, she had lost all sense of pride. She needed him, perhaps for her very survival. Without him, she wasn't sure she could go on.

"Please," she whisper again, "Please don't leave. I'll do anything you want me to do. I love you. I can't lose you...not you."

He firmly pulled her hand away from him, pushing her gently away from him. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he quickly walked from the room.

She could still hear the sound of that door. She still remembered the feel of it against her back as she slid down the cool, wooden surface. She remembered thinking that she would get him back, and at the time, she truly believed she would. Losing him was not an option.

In the end, she had lost him and she had no one to blame but herself. She had taken his life-just as he had taken hers, but she still had to live everyday. She had to live with what she'd done..with what she'd lost...with what she'd never have again.

Picking up the phone, she dialed Mallet's number. Closing her eyes in grateful thanks, she listened to his voice mail prompt. At the beep she spoke quickly, "Listen Mallet, I got the chocolates and the card and it was really sweet of you, but I just can't be in that place with someone right...well ever. If I could, you would be a great," She paused, sighing and silently wishing there was a delete key on voicemail. "Look, I'm sorry. You're a really great guy, but I'm not a great girl.

She looked down at the card again. "What I feel when I'm with you...I haven't felt that in a really long time. It just can't happen. It can't. I wish..." She stopped herself again. "I'm sorry. It just can't work." She closed the phone quickly, forcing herself to end the misery.

She wouldn't allow herself to love again...not in a world that could be such a hopeless place.


End file.
